"Crappe diem."
Diaries are liars. They suggest that the year ahead will be full of space for joy, success and opportunity. We all know this isn't true. The Perpetual Disappointments Diary comes complete with Bank Insecurity Questions, useful foreign-language phrases such as "Table for one, please" and "Anywhere. Just drive", 52 weeks worth of de-motivational quotes and a fully revised list of prominent deaths. It's the perfect diary for anyone whose glass is not only half empty but has the wrong drink in it too.
